I was not someone who had always wanted to have children. Babies especially frightened me. I had no idea what to do with them and the thought of actually owning a baby was a little more then I could handle. So, I waited until I was 35 to have my first daughter, Ramey, and the decision was made more out of fear of waiting too long and not being able to have a child rather then racing to embrace motherhood. My one comforting thought was that my husband, Bob, would be able to deal with the child through baby and toddler hood and then I would take over when it was, say, nine, an age I knew I could (probably)deal with.
So, Ramey was born via C-section after a long and difficult labor. When I first woke up out of the anesthesia I saw Bob with a baby girl in his arms, both staring down at me with concerned expressions on their faces. I had not had even a glimmer of the power of what a baby could extract out of her parents. It was, of course, complete and utter love at first sight. Oh those hormones I guess. Now, 24 years later, I wonder why I sold this beautiful little painting.
Having a baby is a life changer. I don't think I would think of it as owning a baby necessarily, and I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, and you were just expressing the foreignness of that first one in words that were familiar, with a twinkle in your eye. We are their caretakers of our children for a brief time. We nourish, guide, and protect. But then there is the time of letting go.
ReplyDeleteIt is the same with our artwork. They are of us, but not us, and we cannot hold on to them. They have a life of their own, and a world to interact with, independent of us. That is there job. We are simply the springboard to their new life, where many people may also enjoy their presence and be moved by them. That letting go is often difficult, perhaps tinged with regret or nostalgia, but it is for their good, and over time for ours too.
Thank you for posting this intimate interior image, and for opening the door to a world of unexpected conversation with your thoughtful reflections.
Be well, Holly.
Franz
very inteligent!!! very nice.....
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