As a lonely child I ate for comfort, usually while reading a book, devouring entire bags of potato chips and many many candy bars. Then, as a young woman, on my own, I found myself seeking out food when I was distressed or upset, which, it seemed, was most of the time. In the mid to late sixties, there was no information about eating disorders. I just knew that I was eating too much, always sweet or salty foods, and that I was gaining weight. I couldn't control it, and it caused me terrible distress. I told no one about it.
Years passed, and I learned not to use food to avoid my problems, instead, dealing with those problems directly. In 1997 I did this painting. At the opening of the exhibit that included it I noticed a young woman standing in front of the painting, rocking from side to side, clearly distressed. My memory is that she was very thin, slight and probably in her mid twenties. I asked her if I could help her, and she turned to me, and said, in a very angry voice, "Why did you do this? Why? And what does the red mean anyway?"*. I don't remember how I replied, only that later I found out that she was from a very wealthy family in Canada and came to live at a resort in Tucson every winter, which is where the exhibit was. She was, of course, struggling with her own overwhelming and destructive eating disorder. I wished I could have helped her in some way, but, of course, I never saw her again.
*The red path refers to the cessation of periods in women with eating disorders
30+ years of paintings, talked about one painting at a time: what went into the paintings, what I was trying to say, what was happening at the time of my life that I made the paintings. The paintings themselves are narrative, and this adds a little more to the story that they tell.
Sunday, February 25, 2018
Sunday, February 11, 2018
Couple Considering 2017
My relationship paintings almost always portray the woman as being the larger figure, and this painting is no exception. The woman is from an older photograph of my younger self, and the man, as well, a younger version of my husband. My shoes are red(appropriate), and his green(appropriate but I'm not sure why). Like the relationship, the making of the image was complicated, involving, but not limited to: many layers of acrylic paint, oil paint, crackle medium, transfers, and direct gluing(not necessarily in that order). The text is Japanese, from what is, I think, a Japanese textbook, but there is no way to know for sure since I don't speak Japanese and don't have any friends that do. I don't know what is being said, and even if someone were to read the text it would be backwards since it has been transferred. I simply love the visual look of the letters, and the way they exist and politely enhance but don't intrude. I've found my husband several times pausing in front of the painting and nodding his head in approval. I liked it to begin with, but, with every nod of his head, I find myself liking it a little bit more.
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