These are the people I scold (in the order of most to least): my husband, my children, and, every once in a great while, my students. I'm always amazed at the power of a scold, and at how harmful scolding can be when it's done on a continual basis. When my children were young and overwhelming in their energy and illogical approach to things, I found myself scolding them often, and then always regretting it afterwards. I almost never scold them now, and when I do, it's more of a gentle reprimand. After all, as young adults, they have the ability to simply remove themselves from my life if they so desire. My husband I try not to scold. It makes for big trouble between us, but sometimes a scold just pops out.
Rarely do I scold my students, but I did while teaching at a recent workshop. With the group gathered in front of me for a demonstration, I found myself suddenly very annoyed at finding a dirty brush left in an open container of medium that should have been covered. The words jumped out of my mouth, "Who did this? This is a shared area and people can't leave things open, contaminated, and dirty!" Immediately, I could see the alarm in their faces, and then their nervousness. It made me separate and apart. And, once again, I regretted my harsh words.
I am 70 and only put that as a barometer to the length of time to have process alot . I have used this for the last 10 years and it has helped me greatly. If I have something negative to say to anyone ,I make myself wait 24 hours.then if I have a doubt about saying it which I always have a doubt . I wait another 24 hours.At the end of that time I have NEVER found a need to make that negative comment.This applies to all areas spouse , children ,grandkids.There is a positive way to address anything and keeping silence for me is best.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your site . I am a fellow artist.
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