Sunday, September 22, 2013
Man Waiting 1987
The problem is the problem. When I start out I don't know where I'm headed or what I'm going to do. This fills me with anxiety because I don't know where I'm headed or what I'm going to do. As a person who A)likes to be in control and B)needs immediate gratification, this waiting, anxiety filled time is very hard. Change comes about not because I see clearly where I want to go, but because I'm bored and have lost interest in what I was doing. It's out of that ennui that things will eventually sort themselves out and began to take shape. It's the ability to sit with this discomfort that is a key factor in the whole mysterious process. Having done this for so many years, my suspicion is that my Big Self, who thinks she's in charge, has to exit before my Creative Self, who knows she isn't, can fill step in and take over.